Dick Adams <rdadams[at]smart.net) wrote:

- quote -

When Gilligan's boat was lost, Thurston Howell was worried.
Nobody knew where they were, and nobody would even be
looking for them. He was afraid he'd spend the rest of his
life on that little island.

"But dear," his wife injected, "did you file the tax return
yet this year?"

"Me? No. I thought you were going to file it."

"Not me, dear. But that's the good news."

"The good news?"

"The IRS will find us."

Stu

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"Dick Adams" <rdadams[at]smart.net)> wrote:

- quote -

Gee, as a retired subhuman knuckledragging Gestapolike IRS
collection thug I didn't see that one coming.

Sadly, I retired without ever winning an employee contest.
My suggested motto, "No turnip left unsqueezed," didn't win
(probably too many duplicates), nor did they take my
suggestion to replace the eagle on the logo with Bob the
Buzzard.

--
Phil Marti
Clarksburg, MD

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I heard that at a college reunion, where the punch line was
"I'm a fund-raiser for a small, liberal arts college!"

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A local restaurant was so sure that its host was the
strongest man around that they offered a standing bet. The
host would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into
a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could
squeeze one more drop of juice out would win $1,000.

Many people tried over time (weight lifters, longshoremen,
etc.), but nobody could do it.

Then one day, this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick
glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky
voice, "I'd like to try the bet."

After the laughter had died down, the host said "OK," grabbed
a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled
remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd's
laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his
fist around the lemon and two drops fell into the glass.

As the crowd cheered, the host paid the $1000 and shook his
hand. Surprised by the lack of strength in the man's hand,
the host asked "You do not appear to be that strong. How
were you able to squeeze out those last drops

The man replied, "I work for the IRS.

Dick

<< ------------------------------------------------------- > << The foregoing was not intended or written to be used, > << nor can it used, for the purpose of avoiding penalties > << that may be imposed upon the taxpayer. > << > << The Charter and the Guidelines for submitting posts > << to this newsgroup as well as our anti-spamming policy > << are at www.asktax.org. > << Copyright (2006) - All rights reserved. > << ------------------------------------------------------- >