sethb[at]panix.com (Seth Breidbart) wrote:
- quote -

Ok, I think I have to tell one of my favorites.

Q: What's the difference between a wills and probate lawyer
and a prostitute?

A: The prostitute stops screwing you when you die.

Stu

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Seth Breidbart <sethb[at]panix.com> wrote:
- quote -

Hey! Who you calling an attorney?

Seth

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Bill <an_ordinary_guy_158[at]hotmail.com> wrote:

- quote -

And the Internal Revenue Agent said "I don't see any gambling
income on your return. I'm calling in a Special Agent."

Seth

Moderator:
Leave it to an attorney to ruin a joke by bringing reality
into the conversation.

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an_ordinary_guy_158[at]hotmail.com says...

- quote -

This one is good enough for me to forward to an IRS auditor
I know!

Gary

--
E-mail to the above address is rarely read. If you want to
contact me directly, please send an e-mail to: gary at
gdgoodman dot com.

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Ralph arrived at his Internal Revenue Service audit
accompanied by his attorney.

Going over his records, the IRS official said, "Well, sir,
it appears that you live at a much higher level than your
reported employment income. How do you explain that?"

Ralph replied, "I love to gamble and I usually win." The
skeptical official gave him a disbelieving look. "I can
prove it," said Ralph. "How about a demonstration?"

The official thought a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
Ralph said, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite
my own eye."

The auditor thought a moment and said, "No way! It's a bet!"
Ralph removed his glass eye and bit it.

The official's jaw dropped. Ralph said, "Now, I'll bet you
two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

The official could tell Ralph wasn't blind, so he took the
bet. Ralph then removed his dentures and bit his good eye.
The stunned official was now three grand in the hole!

"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asked. "I'll bet you
six thousand dollars that I can stand on your desk and piss
into that wastebasket by the door over there and never get a
drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, was cautious now, but there's no
way this guy could manage that stunt, so he agreed again!
Ralph climbed up on the auditor's desk, missed the
wastebasket completely, and pretty much peed all over the
desk.

The official grinned. He had just avoided a huge loss! But
then he noticed that Ralph's attorney looked ashen and was
visibly shaken. "Are you okay?" he asked.

The man replied, "Not really. Before we arrived, Ralph bet
me twenty thousand dollars he'd piss on your desk and you'd
be happy about it!"

Note to moderator: I realize this may be an old one, but it
gave me a chuckle. You can decide whether it's worth
posting.

Bill ;-)


Moderator:
It's only old if you've never read it before.

<< ================================================== ===== > << The foregoing is intended for educational purposes only > << and does NOT constitute legal OR professional advice. > << > << The Charter and the Guidelines for submitting > << messages to this newsgroup are at www.asktax.org. > << Copyright (2006) - All rights reserved. > << ================================================== ===== >