"FirstTimer" <new_man_19[at]hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:25f63883.0406101400.3bc370cc[at]posting.google.com...
- quote -

My wife and I are experiencing the same thing now, only for us it came a
little later and as the result of some bad decisions. We both had horrible
first marriages, worse financially than emotionally if that is possible. We
married in 2001 after my daughter graduated HS and in our very early 40s
decided that we needed to change our lifestyle if we were to have any chance
of surviving in, or even until, our retirement. What we've done had
ostracized a lot of our old friends, though over the past year we have
started to make new ones.

We gave up the high cost house in an expensive Maryland county and moved to
rural Delaware where we purchased a 3 BR, 2 Bath home on 3 acres for under
$100K, we have a $78K 15 year mortgage. My wife has quit her job (at age
45) and now stays home and tends to household matters and tends a small
garden that produces all the vegetables both our families can eat (in a tiny
little plot of land about the same size as our house - 1,200 sq ft.). She
helps her 73 year old mother who has advanced bone and liver cancer and her
75 year old father who has a pacemaker. We have made a place for them in
our home, though we can't seem to get them to leave Baltimore (at least not
just yet). I support us and put 30% of what I make into our retirement
plan.

This has necessitated a major adjustment to our lifestyle which was
DIFFICULT at first - difficult but not impossible. We no longer eat out 4
to 10 times each week - sounds like a lot but add up breakfast in the car
from McDs, a sandwich from the local deli, Saturday dinner and drinks with
friends and Sunday brunch at see how often you're eating out - instead we
eat at home like a family (just like The Nelsons!). We still have dinner
and drinks on Saturday, but now we have them at our house instead of at a
restaurant. Instead of going to dinner out, we eat in then ride up to Dairy
Queen or Friendly's for after dinner dessert for our treat.

We have had to cut back to just 4 weeks of vacation a year, one right after
tax season ends (I'm a tax accountant - we go to Myrtle Beach for Bike Week
most years), one during the summer (this year July 4th at Disney), one at
Thanksgiving and the week between Christmas and New Years (when we stay
home). My wife has taken up stained glass work and makes most of the gifts
we give. We actually cut our own grass and do our own gardening and
landscaping. What we've found is that when the end of the month comes we
are within about $100 of where we were cash wise before when we both worked,
saved nothing, spent everything, and had nothing to show for it.

We do get some grief from some of our friends about our change in lifestyle.
Our oldest and closest friends just bought a $400K house with a $280K
mortgage. His wife hates her job but they can't afford for her to quit,
combined they put less than 5% into their retirement plans, they have 2 new
cars and the payments to go with them, a new $30K motorcycle with a payment,
and 2 tons of credit card debt. He actually had to work with the flu for
over a week because he couldn't afford to take off. They go on extended
weekend vacations twice a year and spend big when they go - cruises and
such - which they either put on credit cards or finance.

They think we're nuts for living like we do! They tease that we've turned
into Oliver and Lisa from Green Acres. Oh well, what can I say - we
wouldn't trade what we've got now for everything we thought we had before.

Good luck, and stay the course,
Gene E. Utterback, EA

"John A. Weeks III" <john[at]johnweeks.com> wrote in message
news:100620042129220650%john[at]johnweeks.com...
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Being frugal is kinda like being a recovering alcoholic: you have to pretty
much avoid your friends who are still being unfrugal or else you'll fall
back into old patterns and feel the peer pressure to spend more to fit in.
I don't have that much in common anymore with those who are spendthrifts and
when my friends comment on my frugality, I just say that I have different
priorities (we have 3 kids where most of my friends have one or two and I
stay home with them so we don't have two incomes like some of our friends).

Leigh

In article <25f63883.0406101400.3bc370cc[at]posting.google.com> ,
FirstTimer <new_man_19[at]hotmail.com> wrote:

- quote -

One of the latest financial guru's, Dave Ramsey, has a saying
where if you live like no one else today, you will be able to
live like no one else tommorrow.

Put another way, if you avoid debt and pay off your mortgage,
then save a resonable amount of money, you will be able to
live the livestyle that you can only dream of after your
money has a couple of decades to work in your favor.

If you need a bit of support in your quest to live a debt free
lifestyle, check out the book "The Total Money Makeover". Anonther
one that I like is "Your Money Or Your Life".

-john-

--
================================================== ==================
John A. Weeks III 952-432-2708 john[at]johnweeks.com
Newave Communications http://www.johnweeks.com
================================================== ==================

In a response to a previous post of mine, the subject of peers was
raised.
An American was concerned that his peers were not saving for the
future.
I do sense this problem among my peers, but this puts me in what I
feel is an awkward position. Has anyone else suffered a feeling of
loneliness when attempting to be frugal, sensible, with an eye on the
future when people your age are spending on unnecessary consumer
goods, credit card debts, furnishings, redecorating, clothes and cars
etc without any real need.
(I've just joined the thirty-somethings).

I find I cannot associate much with my usual friends as they only
expect me to waste my money with them.